


A Tale of Three Geniuses

by AGlipGlopsWorstNightMare



Category: Gravity Falls, Megamind (2010), Rick and Morty
Genre: How Do I Tag, I'm Sorry, Multiple Crossovers, My First AO3 Post, One Shot, Some Plot, Swearing, To Be Continued, Unifinished, like and subscribe, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24036823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGlipGlopsWorstNightMare/pseuds/AGlipGlopsWorstNightMare
Summary: Small summary of the crapfest you’re about to subject yourself to:Rick, Ford, and Megamind meet up on Rick’s rooftop (I swear it gets better… just kidding). Ford has come to visit Rick after finding his dimension, and Megamind comes over after finding the black hole he lost his parents to, was just an interdimensional rift. The guys are  essentially interdimensional criminals with the ‘testicle cops’ trailing behind them at all times. However, they can’t be criminals if there aren’t any cops around as Stanley Pines would say…*(I live and beg for comments! Please help me improve)*
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	A Tale of Three Geniuses

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by these videos:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-2Tjm2M2cg  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYC24zt9cjY  
> The characters may act a bit OOC, apologies for any faults, this is my first fan made story! (I don’t really write creatively, mostly formally for school etc..) I would like this to be a long oneshot that I come back and improve on… Until it’s done that is.

Rick perched on the roof of the Smith’s home, bottle of booze in hand and interdimensional goggles fastened around his head, he flicked through a few alternate futures before settling on his favorite one. Dimension U- 7⎲8/’.Not that he would ever let anyone know. In this future, he had never left Beth’s life. She had become a successful ‘people’ cardiac surgeon, Morty had grown up to be a scientist so powerful, he rivaled Rick himself, and most importantly Jerry was out of the picture ( Permanently in Jerry Daycare to be precise). A glowing neon green and the pulsing warmth of a portal interrupted the cool breeze and Rick’s concentration.

“Found your dimension sixer?” Rick grumbled between swigs of mystery alcohol. 

Ford huffed as he took a place beside Rick, “Yep, 46’/. You should come over some time. Figured Morty might want to meet Shermy’s grandkids. Make some friends his age?”

“Morty doesn’t need friends.” Rick stated. He turned the dial on the goggles to clarify the signal “What you got there Rick?”

He wordlessly handed the goggles to Ford, who strapped them on hesitantly, he felt a tiny prick in his cheek as the machinery whirred. The screen briefly flashed ‘DNA Locked’ then blinked ‘Dimension: 46/’ ‘, it went black before Ford was met with the double doors to his high school gym, he pushed one forward, greeted with darkness, a few hallway lights on the opposite end of the gym gave him enough illumination to make out his perpetual motion machine. The large clock blinked, large red numbers showing 3:00 AM. Ford was too excited to sleep that night, as the next day held the biggest opportunity he had ever received. Everything. Had. To. Be. Perfect. He strode closer, the covering cloth over his invention lacked _movement_ the one thing it was always _supposed_ to do. Nervousness overcame Ford, he hauled a toolbox out from under his presentation station and ripped the cloth off, suddenly grateful he had decided to check on his machine before presenting. He worked fervently through the night, by 6:50, he had successfully repaired his machine. The visuals in the goggles began to scramble, like an old TV, indicating a time skip. Ford was now walking across a grand stage with bright lights to a decorated wooden podium, his parents beaming at him proudly as he spoke “I would like to thank my wonderful parents, and the professors here at West Coast Tech for their unconditional support. Currently, I feel I am undeserving of the honors bestowed upon me, for achieving the highest score ever recorded. So I will do my best to fulfil what is expected of me!” another skip, Ford saw himself working in a lab with fleets of specialists flocked around him as the project name read QUANTUM TELEPORTATION TEST #532. The visuals scrambled one last time, Ford held a box with a single gold coin embellished with the image of Alfred Nobel, he was making another speech at a bigger stage, with brighter lights, the microphone screeched and he began “ Thank you everyone gathered here today, I accept this prize on the behalf of the betterment of humanity, and I will never have enough words thank my twin brother, and best friend, Stanley Pines, who dropped out of school upon my acceptance , to work, and pay off my student loans. He selflessly gave everything, to support me through every setback. I would not be here without him.” he looked at the audience, his aged parents smiling once again, his brother. His brother. What? The brother who ruined everything. What was he doing there? Stanley was unkempt, dark circles around his eyes, wrinkles no man that young should have. In a tuxedo that looked like he had made it himself.

The screen went black and Ford handed the goggles back to Rick, wiping his eyes “I, am a terrible person.” He slumped back onto the roof tiles. Rick handed him the bottle, pulling out his flask for himself, shrugging he said “ Welcome to the club buddy.” The old men sat in silence for a few minutes, before Rick checked his watch “Where is he? Fucker told me he was going to return my pollution containment unit.” Ford raised a bushy eyebrow “Oh, Megamind. Time passes a little different over there”. As if on cue the familiar glow and temperature change followed. Rick turned around, beckoning the last old man of the interdimensional trio “If it isn’t the discount Mr.Meeseeks!” Rick barked a laugh. Megamind snorted a laugh and chucked the containment unit at Rick “What’s the matter, you look even shittier than usual? Wife on your nerves?” Rick inquired “Nah, she’s fine.” Megamind said, looking up at the night sky, the dark circles under his eyes were apparent. “So, I can’t help but notice your portal gun looks different.” Ford said, looking at the item in the blue man's hand “Yeah, I’ve taken off Rick’s restrictions. Hence this.” He gestured to his tired face. Ford laughed “I swear, guy holds those things together with flex tape.”

Megamind eyed the bottle Ford still had in his hands, “You gonna drink that?” he inquired. Ford glanced down “No, it was Rick’s.” He handed Megamind the mostly empty vessel. “Never took you as the drinking type…” Ford trailed off as the other man downed the contents in one go. The bottle popped off Megaminds thin lips, “Things change Ford.”  
“Such as?”  
Rick and Ford looked at him expectantly.  
“Well, remember how I was so bloody set on destroying Metrocity? Yes, well what I never realized was Minion, was something of a genius himself. After I changed professions to ‘defender’ rather than villain… He brought something to my attention.”  
Rick nodded and Ford gestured for him to continue.  
“I thought that fish was just. Homesick. But, I was wrong. He watched that video, over, and over, and over since he gained knowledge of its existence. In the shuttle my parents sent me away in, there was a video function that recorded my surroundings in a 360 degree perspective. He pointed it out, the black hole wasn’t all that it seemed. Black holes suck in all available light and matter compressing them to dust and invisibility. They don’t ‘eat planets whole’ so to say, I noted that the way that light was bent when shifting the mode of the cameras did not reflect a photon sphere, and honestly, it looked like a warping of space rather than a hole. Anyway, we determined that it was an interdimensional rift. Which could be traveled through, and in theory I could find my parents.”  
Rick groaned “Hurry this shit up, even the nerd over there is losing interest.”  
Megamind rolled his eyes.  
“ The point is. I found them, and while they were proud of my ‘hero’ status. I also found out the biggest ego wrecker of all time. I’m bloody stupid in comparison to the rest of my species.”  
His second bottle of liquor was short lived  
“Well I’ll be damned.” Ford huffed  
“Listen here you blue sack of shit. I only give portal guns to people I can fuckin’ trust. And if those asshats were so fucking smart, why didn’t they come back to find you?” Rick reasoned.  
“Exactly! You did the best with the provided resources your version of Earth had, consider this. You are the only member of your species with interdimensional travel capabilities.” Ford proclaimed.  
“Anyway. Referring back to what Rick said. I can’t help but notice you seem to take his insults particularly well. Favoring him over me?” Teased the six - fingered genius.  
Megamind threw his hands up, spilling some vodka on the roof tiles.  
“He’s more creative.”  
“Oh, Fuck off.”  
Rick cleared his throat, coughing up more of his signature greenish drool.  
“Call me when you guys are done throwing hissy fits, I need to fix the ship Morty wrecked getting his stupid dragon.”  
“Little bastard” Rick cursed under his breath as he hopped off the roof.

Ford picked up the interdimensional goggles and offered them to Megamind,  
‘Want to feel worse?” He asked  
“Can’t.” Was the reply as the goggles were accepted.

\---------------------------

The goggles went through their standard procedure, prick, analyse, and optimize the most pleasant future. Megamind found himself standing in the hell that was his primary school classroom except this time, he found himself actually approaching his nemesis. Wayne Scott. He hesitated to see what the goggles would reveal. The young hero looked arrogant as ever, with an upturned nose and smug grin, his younger self approached him “Look. Wayne? Right. I’d like to consider myself pretty smart. You aren’t fooling anyone, especially not me with your feats of whatever this is.” Megamind gestured to the entirety of the other boy. 

Wayne’s grin faltered, he was taken aback, “How so?” his expression now hardened. 

“I read the newspaper, nothing much else to do in jail.” 

What? Megamind thought, wasn’t this supposed to be the  _ perfect _ future? How the hell did perfection mean him  _ still _ landing in jail? 

His younger self continued, “Lady Scott. Has had 16 incidences of broken bones ever since your arrival. For all the mishaps of my MAJOR experiments, no one has ever gotten seriously injured. However. You. For every MINOR use of your power. Someone gets hurt. Seriously.”

He found himself pulling out an old Superman comic from his pocket “You want to be a hero so bad? Why don’t you do some light reading.” Wayne was visibly shocked. The smaller boy tossed the book at him, he caught it. Megamind winked “Don’t worry, it has _ plenty _ of pictures.” 

A timeskip warped the visuals. Megamind stood in front of the mirror in his jail cell, on his bed behind him was a large weapon, powered by a glowing blue isotope from his original ship.

How the  _ actual fuck _ , was him creating weapons of mass destruction considered perfect? 

Another warp. He stood in a board room before a large collection of Military officials, he glanced down to see himself in a formal suit.  _ Odd _ . The warden walked up behind him and clapped his shoulder, “This is your ticket out of this jail kid. Humans are a violent race, you’ve done a good job marketing your strengths.” The old man winked and walked out, leaving him with his expecting audience. He began “This, is a support item. I know, it looks scary, and I’ve gotten into trouble so many times, for creating ‘helpful’ devices. I focused my efforts into the only kind of machine I seemed to know how to build. Weaponry.” 

The door suddenly flung open. Wayne rushed in to take a seat “Apologies gentlemen, I was moderating my agency downtown. Please continue.” He smiled at Megamind, less of his usual condescending smile, but one of comradery instead. 

“As we all know, unfortunately Wayne my friend, cannot sustain himself in the vacuum of space. And when faced with a natural disaster of the cosmic kind we cannot just ‘fling a nuke at it’ so to speak, the outcomes would be deadly. So I present to you this! A ray of sorts that will redirect the path of the cosmic obstacle wherever the government wishes. I trust that I have left it in good hands.” 

The goggles went black. 

“Well that was short.” Ford remarked 

Megamind blinked a few times to orient himself, tossing the apparatus back to Ford, 

“Sorry my friend, but I’m going to have to accuse you of false advertising.” Ford chuckled, 

“What did you see?” He asked 

“Well, as strange as it sounds, my nemesis and I reconciled early on, and he realized that Earth, despite the constant adoration was not the life he wanted to live. To cut a long story short. The outcome of that future reflects my current way of life.” Megamind explained. 

A second passed before Rick called out from the driveway below “Yo boys, check this shit out. It’s a quantum carborator.” it was a small translucent box with a button on top, it glowed a dull, minty, green, indicating it was powered by isotope - 322, it appeared to be filled with small green particles that teleported rapidly around the box.

Ford looked confused, “ Weren’t you the one who said you can’t just attach a science-y word to a car related one and expect it to mean something?” 

“Fuck that!” Rick said holding the box higher up in the air for the other men to see “If it doesn’t exist. I make it exist.” Rick shouted excitedly pushing the button in, he stepped back to admire the box, dropping his hands to his sides. The quantum carborator levitated spinning in space, glowing a brighter, more neon green. However, tonight wasn’t really Rick’s night. A sudden blast of hot flame melted the concrete of the Smith’s driveway from below, the resulting flames shot upwards, singeing the overhang of the garage roof. Ford and Megamind scrambled further back onto the main roof. 

It was safe to say that the quantum carborator, was very much incinerated… 

Rick groaned, stalking around the hole and into the garage, he grabbed some form of repair tool, aiming at the ground, a blue grid of light covered the hole slowly reforming the driveway.

Ford and Megamind looked at each other tentatively, “Get down from my roof you pair of pussies.” Rick said disappearing into the garage for a moment, Ford gestured ‘after you’, Megamind sighed and hopped onto the Smith’s front lawn, Ford followed suit. The mechanical hum and rattling of too many empty bottles of Rick’s ship gained the attention of both men as Rick rolled the rattletrap flying saucer onto the driveway. Rick manually rolled down the window, it squeaked with every turn of the crank “Y’all coming? I wanted some motherfuckin’ ICE CREAM!” he called. His friends ran to the right side of the ship Ford took shotgun and Megamind chose the backseat (More legroom he reasoned). Rick flipped a switch next to his steering, the mostly silent hum was replaced with a constant resonance of spinning acceleration and direction plates as the spaceship lifted off, slowly at first, just bringing them level with the satellite dish on the house. They hovered for a split second before Rick pulled back the gearstick, shooting them off into space. 

Ford laughed “And we have liftoff boys!”

Megamind leaned forward onto the back of the drivers seat, he almost had to shout over the clinking of bottles “So, what’s wrong with Terran ice cream?” 

“Every fucking place claims to have the best goddamn ice cream Megamind it’s like those hospitals that claim to have the best fucking doctors in the galaxy. What the fuck do you think they do? Have fucking surgery contests where they test how dextrous they are by making tiny sushi or some shit. Hey Ford? Remember that time they tried to take your dick off because they thought it was detachable?!” 

“Um that was Jerry.. And it was for a tra--” Ford said 

“Never fucking mind, you get my point Megamind? No ice cream place is really the best unless you have a flock of existentially confident, dismissive yet, ever joyous glip glops at your service!” 

Megamind looked at Rick confused “Rick? Didn’t you say that glip glops was a slur?”    
  


“Yeah, who cares, the fucking glip glops? They don’t give 2 shits as long as you maintain a similar attitude.” He burped “You’re as good as one of them.” 

Ford climbed over the armrest and into the backseat, he leaned over to Megamind and whispered “He seems happier, he was awfully mopey when I got to him earlier. But, I can’t shake the feeling he’s planning something…” Megamind beckoned Ford “Something against us? Rick is a conniving asshole. A crying shame considering we seemed to be genuine friends. I won’t speak too soon, I can’t run the probabilities of any of Rick’s actions, considering they are infinite. Rick knows this, that's why he’s so unpredictable” Ford frowned “God dammit Megamind! Why do you always have to be such a negative Nancy about everything? What I meant to say was ever since Birdperson has been presumed dead and Squanchy went off the fucking rails due to the constant pressure of being constantly pursued, he’s been working with us more. He won’t admit it. That’s one thing I know about Rick for sure. But he needs our help for something big, people he considers to almost be equals to himself in one way or another.” 

“So what?” 

“I’m saying we stick around and find out. If shit hits the fan, well, we’ll figure it out from there. But right now, based on what I’ve gathered. Him losing his old group of buddies, his favorite future screaming uncharacteristic normalcy. It’s a common factor for all of us. You and I have been considered blatant freaks who want nothing but an opportunity for normality, we’ve both lost something close to us, and most importantly… We’re all interdimensional criminals.” 

\-----------------------------------------

Unfortunately, for Megamind, he was right. Rick was planning something against his longtime friends. They had jumped to the infamous Plim-Plom tavern, on a planet where giant arachnids co-existed with humans. The trio walked up to the ice cream selection, past the tables and chairs, oddly enough the design was very similar to a Baskin-Robbins. Ford was the first to notice anything amiss, he turned to Rick “Umm, Rick… Why do all the flavors have chocolate chips?” Megamind’s eyes being keener than the average humans noticed a bit of movement in the ice cream “Those aren’t chocolate chips Ford, they’re flies...” he trailed off. Rick dug in his pockets for a second “I’ll have 3 Neapolitans, 1 scoop, in cups.” He pulled out a bunch of crumpled bills and shoved it at the underpaid employee. “Feel free to sit down, when you’re done gawping.” The other men grimaced before taking their seats, Megamind picked at his ice cream trying to find a fly-free bite, Ford didn’t touch his “You sure this is sanitary?” he asked. “Perfectly sanitary flies, harvested only from the most sterile of feces,” Rick said through a big crunchy bite of ice cream, bits of flies stuck to his teeth. “This better not be some ‘teachable moment’ bullshit Rick.” Ford pushed away the ice cream. “No, but I do have to talk to you guys about something. You caught on pretty well in the car.” His eyes flicked to Megamind, who had given up on the ice cream. “They’re onto us.” Ford raised his eyebrows “Who, why, and why are Megamind and I a part of this?” 

“Testicle Police, fuckin’ wrinkly motherfuckers with arms in raggedy clothes, they came to save my dumb family and I, after we split our reality into pieces. Dunno what they’re called but we’ve all had contact with them. They swarmed the Mystery Shack after you and Stan got back from your cruise, and Megamind, after you discovered interdimensional travel in your reality.” 

The others nodded in agreement.

“Well, basically the federation decided, interdimensional travel by individuals for ANY purpose not strictly regulated by them is punishable by complete memory wipe and ‘reintegration’ into another society. Not that I care. But you fools won’t see your families again if that were to happen. Since the bureaucracy is too inefficient by themselves, they hired the jigglers of Scary Terry himself.” 

“Okay, so why the fly cafe, Rick?” Megamind inquired, clearly irritated at the inedibility of his ice cream. 

“We’re here because this isn’t a federation planet, and I needed to make sure you didn’t get caught off guard for what’s about to happen. NOW!” 

I AM ALIVE I TELL YOU.


End file.
